I really can’t quite find the words for how amazing my this is.
This.. your details and science breakdown of what this journey looks like.
This… the fact that we are meeting, observing, rooting for, (maybe learning to) pray for someone we’ve never met, someone who’s “choices” so many wrongfully judge.
This… you. YOU. You are amazing for making the choice to take this incredible dragon head on. Knowingly… fully aware of what horrors lie ahead yet you charge into war. This war for yourself. For your life. And for your son.
And this… that your writing about it along the way AND sharing it real time. I haven’t even done that with my poetry. I want months, maybe years to share my deeply coded pain.. it’s just too vulnerable otherwise. I’m in awe of you. And I’m here for you. I’ll be here reading every word you drag up from your depth. Holding space filled with love and never judgement.
On a selfish note thank you for sharing… I have always been deeply curious about the details of someone’s journey with drugs. I’ve never been brave enough to try them. But I know that my intense curiosity, trust in everyone and dependence on everything would have led me down the harshest of paths… had only I been brave enough to try.
To your bravery ❤️🔥 For diving in, for surviving it all with astonishing poker face, and for full-force facing the hardest part yet… I know you’re built for the fight 🤟🏽
Kadence, thank you. Your sincerity is palpable and deeply appreciated. I do worry that someday, someone might weaponize my vulnerability, but another person might just find this blog when they really need it - I know that I could really use a blog like this right now.
But to be honest, I write and share in real time because I’ve had this niggly feeling in the back of my mind for approximately two years that my time might be running out. So I am writing for my son. So that when the day comes when the “why’s” and “how could you’s” come up, hopefully he will find answers and some kind of closure here (and hopefully not hate me).
Oh wow. That’s incredibly powerful. You know I feel that with a lot of things I have written (but again haven’t been brave even to share yet) that I want my daughters to understand me better someday… especially if something were to happen. I can only imagine the urgency and intensity of your feelings about that. I think that’s a beautiful thing to do. Understanding is everything.
I like you! :) I appreciate your depth and willingness to engage with vulnerability! Mothering is a trip, isn’t it? I look forward to the day you feel confident enough to share those writings. I’m sure they will be insightful and enlightening!
I like you too :) Motherhood is indeed the trippiest trip I’ve ever tumbled down. Thank you for the encouragement… I actually realized the other day I feel safer sharing here. I’m so used to social media sharing where everyone (thinks they) know(s) me… this world of substack is so freeing. I’m able to bleed here.
I really can’t quite find the words for how amazing my this is.
This.. your details and science breakdown of what this journey looks like.
This… the fact that we are meeting, observing, rooting for, (maybe learning to) pray for someone we’ve never met, someone who’s “choices” so many wrongfully judge.
This… you. YOU. You are amazing for making the choice to take this incredible dragon head on. Knowingly… fully aware of what horrors lie ahead yet you charge into war. This war for yourself. For your life. And for your son.
And this… that your writing about it along the way AND sharing it real time. I haven’t even done that with my poetry. I want months, maybe years to share my deeply coded pain.. it’s just too vulnerable otherwise. I’m in awe of you. And I’m here for you. I’ll be here reading every word you drag up from your depth. Holding space filled with love and never judgement.
On a selfish note thank you for sharing… I have always been deeply curious about the details of someone’s journey with drugs. I’ve never been brave enough to try them. But I know that my intense curiosity, trust in everyone and dependence on everything would have led me down the harshest of paths… had only I been brave enough to try.
To your bravery ❤️🔥 For diving in, for surviving it all with astonishing poker face, and for full-force facing the hardest part yet… I know you’re built for the fight 🤟🏽
Kadence, thank you. Your sincerity is palpable and deeply appreciated. I do worry that someday, someone might weaponize my vulnerability, but another person might just find this blog when they really need it - I know that I could really use a blog like this right now.
But to be honest, I write and share in real time because I’ve had this niggly feeling in the back of my mind for approximately two years that my time might be running out. So I am writing for my son. So that when the day comes when the “why’s” and “how could you’s” come up, hopefully he will find answers and some kind of closure here (and hopefully not hate me).
Oh wow. That’s incredibly powerful. You know I feel that with a lot of things I have written (but again haven’t been brave even to share yet) that I want my daughters to understand me better someday… especially if something were to happen. I can only imagine the urgency and intensity of your feelings about that. I think that’s a beautiful thing to do. Understanding is everything.
You tell them! I'll hide behind you & at random intervals chime in with a "yeah! Ah-huh! What she said!" 😂
😂😂👌🏽
I like you! :) I appreciate your depth and willingness to engage with vulnerability! Mothering is a trip, isn’t it? I look forward to the day you feel confident enough to share those writings. I’m sure they will be insightful and enlightening!
I like you too :) Motherhood is indeed the trippiest trip I’ve ever tumbled down. Thank you for the encouragement… I actually realized the other day I feel safer sharing here. I’m so used to social media sharing where everyone (thinks they) know(s) me… this world of substack is so freeing. I’m able to bleed here.
Let’s hope the mean girls never find the ‘stack ❣
You know what.. bring it on.. we can take it.
Rooting for you. Cue dancing root vegetables with their hands in the air waving them like they just DO care.
Aw Max! It’s SO good to have you here!! 🖤
Happy to be here. It’s all new. Not sure how this thing works :)