A raw exploration of love, betrayal, addiction, and survival—navigating heartbreak when honesty is broken and healing begins with brutal self-truthA raw exploration of love, betrayal, addiction, and survival—navigating heartbreak when honesty is broken and healing begins with brutal self-truth
Imagine the emotional overwhelm if we had to anticipate each and every other human’s childhood trauma and then compensate for that?
We would also deny each other, and ourselves, the opportunity to grow and work through that trauma. I am becoming more aware of my core wounds and where they are rooted (and awareness is key, right?), but I only become aware of them after they’ve been triggered.
It’s also not our friends’/partners’/other people’s responsibility to pussy-foot around our (potential) triggers—I can’t expect him to figure out, anticipate and avoid doing or saying the things that MIGHT trigger a reaction due to a daddy issue that he might not even be aware of. I would be making him responsible for my emotions. I’m not saying it’s cool to be inconsiderate or that we should be careless with others’ hearts, just that we have to own our reactions too.
If we can repair after rupture, honestly, sincerely, in a healthy way, where both parties feel seen, heard and held, I think you have the secret sauce! When familiar experiences come up that trigger trauma responses, and we end up having a reparative experience, ie this time it doesn’t end the same as before, but we actually have a "happy ending” and CLOSE THAT LOOP, we move past, or “heal” that trauma wound.
The sudden chaos shredded me. And I see it now, painfully clearly:
This is trauma. This is attachment rupture.
Attachment theory explains why I am unravelling.
I lean anxiously, wired from childhood inconsistencies to crave closeness and simultaneously fear abandonment.”
This… over and over and over again this.. it wrecks so many hearts. So many lives. We HAVE to love each other better. All of us. Not just in relationships, not just in friendships, strangers… because of exactly this ❤️🩹
I agree with you. We should. But we really can’t.
Imagine the emotional overwhelm if we had to anticipate each and every other human’s childhood trauma and then compensate for that?
We would also deny each other, and ourselves, the opportunity to grow and work through that trauma. I am becoming more aware of my core wounds and where they are rooted (and awareness is key, right?), but I only become aware of them after they’ve been triggered.
It’s also not our friends’/partners’/other people’s responsibility to pussy-foot around our (potential) triggers—I can’t expect him to figure out, anticipate and avoid doing or saying the things that MIGHT trigger a reaction due to a daddy issue that he might not even be aware of. I would be making him responsible for my emotions. I’m not saying it’s cool to be inconsiderate or that we should be careless with others’ hearts, just that we have to own our reactions too.
If we can repair after rupture, honestly, sincerely, in a healthy way, where both parties feel seen, heard and held, I think you have the secret sauce! When familiar experiences come up that trigger trauma responses, and we end up having a reparative experience, ie this time it doesn’t end the same as before, but we actually have a "happy ending” and CLOSE THAT LOOP, we move past, or “heal” that trauma wound.
I think I responded in the wrong place.. but yes.. this makes SO much sense. I’m going to have to sit with this. Thank you for this.
No, no, thank you! If you didn’t comment, I wouldn’t have thought about it that way and I wouldn’t have been able to shift that energy <3
I’m so glad 🥹
“And then came the fuckening…
The sudden chaos shredded me. And I see it now, painfully clearly:
This is trauma. This is attachment rupture.
Attachment theory explains why I am unravelling.
I lean anxiously, wired from childhood inconsistencies to crave closeness and simultaneously fear abandonment.”
This… over and over and over again this.. it wrecks so many hearts. So many lives. We HAVE to love each other better. All of us. Not just in relationships, not just in friendships, strangers… because of exactly this ❤️🩹
This is powerful and raw. Thank you for showing us your vulnerability. 💞
Powerfully written.
Powerful, overwhelming pain